To be different is to be unique. It can be scary to cast out on your own – either because of a choice you made or because a choice was made for you. Remember the old saying: “It’s not how hard you fall, it’s how quickly you get back up.”

For Elizabeth Guzman-Cabral, her life has had its battles, many of which she continues to fight, but through supportive friends and family as well as a steadfast commitment to herself and her mental wellbeing, Elizabeth gets back up as quickly as she falls. In her debut children’s book, Chadwick, Elizabeth tells the story of a lonely seagull, who despite being different from the rest of the flock, lives a full and complete life of his own.

We spoke with Elizabeth about how ‘normal’ shouldn’t be used to describe your life, how living with a disability has affected her story and how a chance meeting at breakfast led to the creation of her lead bird.

Your work is inspiring and thoughtfully lays out important life lessons for young readers. Our first question relates to the term ‘normal’ and how everybody’s ‘normal’ is slightly different. What part of your ‘normal’ are you most happy to have in your life?

“Normal” is simply conforming to a standard and whoever created such standards; let’s just say they need to do an overhaul.  I do state how everyone’s normal is different and we all need to embrace those differences and realize such differences help fight the mundane.

For my life, I was born with my disability but wasn’t diagnosed until I was a teenager.  So as a child my ‘normal’ was having sick parents, and I literally used to think everyone’s mom was a nurse who gave their dad dialysis at home.  I assumed all my friends knew the layouts of hospitals the way my siblings and I did.  I assumed everyone understood medical vocabulary the way we did. But that wasn’t the case, and that’s okay.  Sick parents and Christmas mornings in hospitals was MY normal.  At the time when my body began fighting me, I pushed for a ‘normal life’ - the kind of life that society deemed ‘normal’.  Hey, I was young and still had so much to learn.  I fought back in all the wrong ways telling myself, “If I ignore this disease, it won’t affect me or kill me the way it did my father years before.”  But the more I pushed, the more my truth pushed back.   It wasn’t until I became a mom myself when I woke up and realized my ‘normal’ won’t be a common, widely talked about life, but because it’s MY normal; I will embrace it all instead of fighting it.  It was after the birth of my twin sons when my body began really breaking down and at that time I had already been diagnosed.  I knew my sons would be faced with certain life situations, but I won’t just throw them into the deep end.  I will nurture their understanding and keep an open-door policy with them.  By the time my third and youngest son was born, life really became this struggle in ways I wasn’t expecting, but the foundation I laid out for them was already strong.

I made it normal not to keep anything regarding my health from my three sons.  Of course, I simplified the information so their young minds could comprehend.  When my parents were alive, they were both medical professionals and it’s something my siblings and I all gravitated toward.  So I made it normal in my house to have anatomy flash cards on the coffee table for casual reading.  Posters of the skeletal system and the periodic table of elements were hung in our dining room.  I needed to make sure my little gentleman weren’t afraid of anything regarding health - and it worked.  They would play with their human body puzzles while watching regular cartoons. It was our ‘normal’.

I also didn’t sweat the small stuff. It was normal for toys to be everywhere.  It was normal for my house to be a mess most days because I put whatever energy I had for that day into cooking for my sons and taking them to the park.  It was normal for my youngest to skateboard in the living room because I was too sick that day to watch him outside.  Of course, criticism followed, but like RuPaul says, “What other people think of me is none of my business!”

You asked me what part of ‘normal’ I’m most happy to have in my life, and it’s my children.  For most of the world, it’s considered ‘normal’ to grow up and have children.  My ex-husband and I did that but what’s not normal is to raise them the way we did; the way we continue to.  My boys are extremely independent.  They’ve known how to cook, do laundry and solve problems from a young age.  They know how to research information when they have questions.  They know how to move through life when the going gets rough and some people may look at all that as, “They grew up too fast”.  But they didn’t.  Their childhood was just a different kind of ‘normal’ and I’ve asked them many times if they feel cheated or like they missed out on anything, and all three of them have the same response. It’s ‘no’. They all agree it’s all been ‘normal’.  This life is all they’ve known.

As a member of the disabled community, this story must take direct inspiration from events throughout your own life. For fellow members who may be struggling and finding life difficult to navigate, what advice or experience would you offer to them?

Always remember this is YOUR life.  People are going to have opinions, and honestly 80% of those opinions should be ignored.  Especially when those opinions come from people who have never walked an hour in your shoes.  The other 20% (give or take) usually comes from a place of love.  Example: my sister is tough.  She is strong like our mother was and she never sugarcoats anything. So, when she offers her opinion, it sometimes comes off brutal but it comes from a place of love. Find you a person who will support you completely, but they will also help you find your inner warrior!  Feel the sadness and remember we will have some days when lying in bed is all we can muster; but fight for the quality of life you want after you’re done.  And I’m not saying, “Fight everyday”; oh no, that’s exhausting; but fight a tiny bit each day.  Fighting will look different for all of us.  Some days my fight is simply making my bed.  I usually lay right back down after but at least it’s in a freshly made bed!

Also, don’t compare where you are to where others may be.  Don’t compare your life to those who don’t navigate the disabled world.  It’s extremely hard some days, trust me I know, but then I remind myself that what I’ve survived is way more than what most people will ever experience in their lives.  Take one day at a time.  No; minute by minute is better!  Focus on the positive. Being able to brush your teeth each day is a positive, for example.  Sometimes I realize that my disability can be a positive too.  It’s helped me value and appreciate what others may never notice.  That’s such a huge flex these days, when the world is drowning in consumerism and in mixed up priorities.

One final note, allow yourself to have bad days too.  But don’t think of it as a bad day, think of it as ‘recharging your inner battery’.  Take a break, wrap yourself in that blanket and do nothing.  Breathe in deep through your nose and breathe out through your mouth; rest, recharge and wake up the next day and remember who you are.  You are a warrior!

Chadwick, the title character in your new book, belongs to a flock of seagulls, but as he is different from the other members of his community, his life can be much harder. Was Chadwick always designed as a seagull? What were Chadwick’s bird beginnings?

Chadwick wasn’t always a seagull, but he was always an animal.  I remember being a child and I had no one to relate to. Even as a teen, when my disease began to progress more, again I had no one to relate to and I began thinking of all the children who don’t have anyone either.  And don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying they don’t have support because they absolutely do.  I also have a great support system, but when we feel validated, heard, that lifts us up on a whole different level. 

This idea of writing books for our youth about disabilities and differences had been bouncing around my mind for a while.  I wanted to write a book that spotlighted our differences and struggles, but show them as a characteristic that isn’t negative. Instead, as a difference to be celebrated. 

One fall morning, I woke up anxious and beyond frustrated with how my body had been fighting me lately and I needed to take a ‘pause’.  My sister agreed to watch my sons for a little while and I went to a local bagel shop and got breakfast.  I drove to the San Leandro Marina and sat on one of the benches that overlook San Francisco.  While eating, a seagull approached me, and he had the most unique spots on his inner wing.  I began having banter with this seagull - and before you say anything, I know that sounds crazy - but I simply told him he wasn’t getting my lox.  He simply stood there looking at me. Then, my mind snapped out of my anxiety. From that moment on, Chadwick was a seagull. 

You’ve previously shared with us that your mom gifted you a journal at a young age for you to write your feelings in - you’ve even told us that, “writing is a constant thing to me, like breathing.” Do you think that everyone would benefit from writing and journaling?

1000%, definitely! As a child, when I realized my upbringing was very different from most other kids, I had a million questions.  Some I wanted answers for and other questions I just needed to ask.  I just needed to throw my questions into a void and let them marinate there.  Without knowing it, the answers would eventually come to me.

The most amazing thing about a journal is you can fill it in YOUR OWN WAY!  Sometimes, I would write in compete sentences, other times, I simply wrote one word, and that was enough.  At times I would scribble because that was my anxiety transferring out of me and on to the pages of my journal and oddly, I would feel so much relief when I was done.  I have always had plenty of emotional support to lend an ear in my direction, but what I’m thinking isn’t always meant for others to hear.  I just need to get it out and I found paper doesn’t talk back, doesn’t judge and doesn’t try to offer advice or solutions that I just don’t want to hear.  The paper allows me to get my ideas, words and feelings out freely - no interruptions.  For me, writing or journaling helps release everything I’ve kept bottled inside, and I actually feel lighter when I’m done. In a way, it’s like therapy.

Finally, as a devoted author, we are excited to see where your storytelling takes you next! Could we see Chadwick again soon? Or are you hoping to tell a completely different story?

Yes! Chadwick has more adventures to share, and I’ve already written a few follow-ups.  My hope is to get those published and on shelves and turn Chadwick into a series.  At the same time, I do have a project that I began writing years ago. I work on it little by little.  It’s a YA story I hope to share soon.

Chadwick by Elizabeth Guzman-Cabral is available now in paperback.